I've been reading in 1 Samuel as part of my Bible reading plan for the year, and as I read yesterday I was gut punched.
In chapter 1 of first Samual we are introduced to Elkanah and his two wives Peninnah and Hannah.
scripture says,
Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none.
1 Samual 1:2
Scripture goes on to talk about how Elkanah would go make his sacrifices, and he would give a portion of his meat to his children and his wives. However, he gave his wife Hannah double the amount of what he gave his other wife, and children because she was unable to conceive.
This is what gut punched me.
In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly.
1 Samuel 1:10
Here's a question: when was the last time you prayed at the Lord's feet and just wept?
I think we naturally have a tendency to run to anything but the Lord when we feel hopeless.
We go to our best friend(s), our mom, we drown in addictions, we go make a huge post on social media....
The world has made us believe that we can handle things on our own, and that is the furthest thing from the truth.
Hannah kept praying, and praying, and praying to the Lord, but how often do we just give up because we feel like the Lord isn't listening?
Nothing is changing
Things keep getting worse
It's just not working...
The thing I love most about Hannah is her faith.
She loved the Lord, and she trusted Him.
She went to Him.
For about a year now I've noticed I love to complain to God about certain situations and blame him for a lot of things, in my confusion it's like, "
"why did you do this?"
"why would you allow me to go through this?
why
why
why
why
I go through the motions of reading my Bible daily to check it off the list, and I wondered why I didn't feel Him.
because I was trying to take care of myself.
Honestly? because I was mad, angry, and confused, and didn't want His help.
why am I writing this today?
because I know I'm not alone
God's plan very seldom matches our own.
a lot of times it is confusing and it does cause feelings like sadness and anger.
but we can't lose our faith because that's EXACTLY what the devil wants us to do.
Hannah was broken, but she knew what to do, and she knew where to go.
she didn't get angry and plot something against her husband's other wife
or get mad at her husband for having two children with Peninnah.
she didn't go off gossiping into town, or plot some evil scheme.
she didn't sulk alone
she went to the Lord and wept over the situation she had been dealt, and she prayed continuously.
She had faith despite her circumstances, and I want to be more like her.
So, I hope this encourages you to go to your Father, and let Him take care of you.
I think we will all be surprised by how much our faith will grow just by spending time in His presence.
your friend,
Lauren
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