“You’re not a Christian.”
“You don’t have enough faith.”
“You just need to pray harder.”
“God will heal you.”
These are just a few examples of the comments I have received and still receive to this day because I am a Christian who happens to struggle with mental illness.
I am a Christian who has an anxiety disorder.
I am a Christian who struggles with depression
I am a Christian who has PTSD.
I am not going to lie, when I first started struggling with my mental health, I told MYSELF I was not a Christian. I was convinced that there was no way I could be struggling with all these things and still be a Christian. A Christian would not feel the feelings I am feeling.
I remember being so angry, so confused, BEGGING on my knees.
“God, please take this from me! When this is all over, I’ll shout your name from the rooftops and tell people how great and wonderful you are.”
Then, I stumbled across 2 Corinthians chapter 12.
In this chapter, Paul talks about “the thorn in his side” It is never made clear what this thorn is but, he was given this “thorn'' to keep him from becoming conceited. (verses 6-7) I want you to see what changed my life and perspective.
Starting with verse 8:
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake I delight in weakness, in insults, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
WOAH
Reading those verses was all I needed to get the hint that my mental illness isn’t going anywhere.
Okay, that’s fine.
“God what did I do to deserve this?” As we see from 2 Corinthians 12, Paul received the thorn to keep him from being conceited.
Then, God brought me to the book of Job.
Job was someone who did everything right in God’s eyes. He was a devout servant to the Lord. One day Satan makes a deal with God, and he basically says, “I bet I can get Job to turn away from you.” So God allowed Satan to inflict harm in Job’s life. God’s only condition was “spare his life.”
Satan killed all of Job’s livestock, his children, his servants and even inflicted painful sores on Job’s body. Satan did everything he could to destroy Job and bring despair unto him except killing him.
Job becomes depressed pretty quickly. He questions God, but he never denounces Him and His power.
“Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. Am I the sea or the monster of the deep, that you put me under guard? When I think my bed will comfort me and my couch will ease my complaint, even then you frighten me with dreams and terrify me with visions, so that I prefer strangling and death, rather than this body of mine. I despise my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone; my days have no meaning.- Job 7:11-16
Job did nothing wrong, yet horrible things happen to him leading him to become depressed.
If you are struggling I want you to believe that it is not always your fault. Just because Job was feeling this way doesn’t mean he disowned God. No, he still loved God.
You can praise him through your struggle.
Just because you have a mental illness does not mean that you did something wrong.
It baffles me the amount of times I hear people talk about how we are all broken because we all sin and are born into a sin filled world, but as soon as you mention something like anxiety or depression everyone thinks you need to be fixed.
Can God cure mental illness? Absolutely.
But he isn’t going to mend every broken piece of your life on this side of eternity, and that’s okay.
I heard a quote from Rebekah Lyons once that has changed my life. She said,
“Invite where you are into the ministry today.”
Ever since then I knew one of my purposes in life is to raise awareness regarding mental health and mental illness (especially in the Christian community)
It’s okay not to be okay.
It’s okay to have Jesus and a therapist too.
I strongly encourage you, if you are struggling, please seek professional help.
It’s okay not to be okay, but what’s not okay is realizing it and staying there.
Your feelings are valid, but please know that your feelings aren’t always true.
The cool thing about Jesus is that He can sympathize with us because He has experienced every emotion that we have. He has been sad, He has been anxious, He has been fearful, He has been depressed. He has struggled with control. He has asked God for things and been told “no.” The only difference is, He took God’s “no” and followed through with His Father’s purpose for Him.
1 Corinthians 15:50: 56-58 says,
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ! Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord’s work because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
Anxiety, depression, fear, it sucks, but it is real. Don’t let your mental illness or the state of your mental health keep you from doing what God has called you to do. Keep going because as the verse above says, when Jesus comes back all pain and suffering will be wiped away.
One of my college professors told me recently,
“You’re so brave! I love how you’re scared and nervous, but there is NO STOPPING YOU!!!”
That is my entire life… I am constantly filled with anxiety and fear. Depression pops in to say “hi” very frequently, but I still live life.
I do it scared.
I do it afraid.
I also do it knowing that my God is bigger than the anxiety that’s causing me to tremble. He is bigger than the depression that causes sleepless nights.
I do it because I know that my mental illness, as hard as it is to live with, is part of my purpose in life because if I don’t speak up for the church, who will?
You can be a Christian and struggle with anxiety.
You can be a Christian and struggle with depression.
You can be a Christian and struggle with suicidal thoughts.
The church is so focused on talking about what we have been through. Let’s talk about what we are going through. Let’s talk about the things that are labeled “taboo”
Let’s talk about pornography.
Let’s talk about pre-marital sex
Let’s talk about abortion
Let’s find a way to talk about the things no one wants to talk about in a way that people do not feel ashamed to come as they are and be honest. Let’s stop talking in past tense and start talking in the present, here, and now.
You are seen You are heard. You are loved, and I am sorry if anyone has ever made you feel less than because of your struggles. I’m sorry if you are afraid to open about what you are doing or what you have done for fear of being judged.
Church, I find we are so often taking on the role of Jesus and disguising ourselves into people who are perfect. Only one person is perfect, and He tells us to come as we are.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
Here are thirteen things I hope you take away from reading this:
You are no less of a Christian because of your struggles with mental health/and or mental illness.
You are not alone.
You can do life afraid.
Invite where you are now into the ministry and into your church.
Be a friend, not a judge
You don’t have to pretend to be perfect.
Getting professional help is okay and I strongly encourage it.
You are not what other people say you are. You are who God says you are. (see Psalms 139)
Just because you are struggling does not mean you did something wrong.
Embrace the challenges or “thorns” in your life and use them to bring glory to God.
Dive deep into scripture so you can combat the enemy with God’s truth.
Jesus sympathises with you, He understands.
You can change the stigma surrounding mental health and mental illness
Lauren is a 21 year old college student pursing a degree in English with a minor in Spanish. Her life time goals include becoming an author, speaker, blogger, as well as a mental health and disability activist.
Follow Lauren on instagram: @laurenvictoria__
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