This is something I don’t know that I’ll share with anyone but myself. However, I did just get a nudge in my heart from the Holy Spirit to write about it, so that most likely means other people will be reading this—terrifying.
I’m going to try and be as respectful and non-specific as possible. I don’t even know if that is possible to be completely honest with you.
I want to talk about toxicity
Friendships
Romantic relationships
Family members
Family dynamics
Toxicity within ourselves — the fact that for some reason we feel like we need to and have to stay
I can fix his addiction
We’ve been friends for over nine years
This person is your flesh and blood
It’s my fault that this is happened to me
It’s my fault they are acting this way
I made him drink all those bottles
I’m the reason she pops pills every night
Maybe if I just do whatever she says things will go back to the way they were and we’ll be friends forever like we planned nine years ago
But you don’t understand what he’s been through—of course he’s going to yell at me, and I’m going to take it because I love him, and we’re meant to be together.
It took a lot of therapy for me to realize and understand that the person leaving was not my fault. It still isn’t and it never will be.
Not everyone is going to love me
Not all friendships last forever
As much as I would love to toss you into rehab—I can’t do that for you
As much as I would love for you to see that this boy you think you’re madly in love with is treating you poorly—you have to see it for yourself
We all hit a breaking point and if you’re dealing with toxicity whether it’s in a relationship within yourself, or both… you’re going to hit it eventually
And it’s going to be one if not the hardest decision of your life. You’re going to have to choose whether to continue or walk away.
Whether that means walking away from a toxic person
Or walking away from a toxic lifestyle choice of your own.
It’s always going to hurt.
It’s always going to haunt you
It’s an everyday battle
No matter what choice you make
Today, I pray that you choose to walk away
I pray that you trust in the power of God and redemption more than the fear of the devil and temptation.
I pray that you stop counting the years—stop looking at the past—look at the present.
I pray that you would stop listening to the voices that say, “but it’s family” Instead open your Bible and see how God instructs family to treat one another.
Read Psalms 139 and see how intent God was in creating you and how much He loves you. If your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/fiancé isn’t making you feel the way Psalms 139 is… I pray that you rely on the love and power of God’s Holy Spirit to give you the strength to walk away.
We can love them and still choose to walk away
In fact, I think walking away shows more of your love for the person and yourself than staying ever will.
Walking away—I believe, is sometimes the greatest gift you can give yourself and others.
This is supposed to be an encouragement; I pray it is.
Comments