February is a month I always dread. February 19th aka tomorrow and February 22nd aka
Tuesday are days I want to skip.
like deliberately skipping one of my college classes.
I thought this month being February I'd be writing about love.
I guess in some ways I am.
The reason this month and these two specific days are so hard for me is because one is a death anniversary, and the other is the anniversary of the funeral.
this death changed my entire life because it was the first time in my seventeen years of life that I was exposed to the idea that tragic things happen in real life. (not just movies)
After this event I felt like EVERYTHING was shattering.
It felt like people were dying every single day.
My mental health absolutely sky-rocketed
and today at 22, I'm realizing the everything around me is still shattering, but now I know things are shattering because that's what's supposed to happen.
Sounds lovely, doesn't it?
Covid
shock deaths (deaths with no warning or ways to prepare in grief )
people you love in distress
surgeries
random sicknesses
It never stops and my prayer lists just keeps getting longer and longer and longer...
It's exhausting and they are things that aren't even directly affecting me.
TRIGGER WARNING:
A few days ago I came across a post by a mom on Instagram that went viral. The post was about her son Drayke who died by suicide on February 9th, 2022. Her son was twelve years old. Her son was bullied to the point that he developed depression, and the depression got so bad that he died by suicide at the tender age of 12.
here's an article if you so choose to read: https://people.com/human-interest/utah-parents-speak-out-days-after-their-bullied-son-12-died-of-suicide/
The reason I am writing on this topic is because I know that no human has control over their life or anyone around them. My roommate and I were talking about this a few hours ago.
about how it's so hard to relinquish control that we don't have in the first place.
It seems like every day another bad thing happens, and I am in no way trying to be negative, but I'm just being real. People are struggling ya'll.
My friend Sarah took the above photo of me on Sunday. I couldn't stop laughing, and I thought it was perfect for this blog post because
struggling doesn't have "a-look"
I have a professor who tells me ALL OF THE TIME,
"Well, you look great." As I'm shaking underneath my skin.
I have another professor who always compliments my infectious laugh. Don't mind me, just trying not to freak out (so, I laugh instead)
I feel like people stereotype struggling just like we stereotype everything else.
Just because someone is smiling doesn't mean they aren't really hurting inside.
Just because someone didn't show up to class doesn't always mean they are sick.
Maybe they just overslept.
My point is: we don't know unless we ask.
Sometimes a person just needs a hug.
Sometimes a person just needs to know they are loved.
Most of all, people need prayer.
I challenge you to be that person.
If you're struggling no matter how big or small
reach out to someone.
You are not struggling alone.
Trust me, the struggle is real!
Your friend,
Lauren
Photo credit: https://www.instagram.com/_beautyremains__/ (Sarah Renae Jones)
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