August 19 and 20th I had the incredible honor of attending Sadie Robertson Huff's second annual LO Sister Conference in Monroe, Louisiana.
to say the weekend was life changing isn't even a big enough phrase to describe what the Lord did in my heart and the hearts of so many other girls as well.
First, I want to talk about the picture above. I was able to meet Sadie- or should I say reunite with Sadie- before the conference during meet and greet.
The object she is holding up in this picture is an object that will forever mean more to me than anyone will ever know.
I first met Sadie at her second Live Original Tour in 2017 and during the meet and greet I showed her my Giving Key that says "fearless" (the object she is holding up) I basically thanked her for sharing her struggles with anxiety and fear because it gave me hope that one day I would be where she was that day--not fearless or rid of anxiety completely, but being able to let God fight the battle instead of fighting it on our own being constricted by fear and anxiety because until you let God in you're going to be stuck.
After I thanked Sadie she gave me a lot of advice that I will forever hold close to my heart. One thing I will share that she said that night is this, "I struggled with it for three years, and I don't want you to struggle with it for three years."
I'm not good at math, but 2017-2022 is five years, and even if my math is wrong I know I was drowning in fear for more than three years.
Basically, since that night God had given me little God winks and "promises" that He was going to get me through this.
Fast forward to April of 2021, I gave my testimony about my struggles with mental illness in front of the college/young adult group at the church in my college town.
September of 2021 I heard a sermon at that same church, and that night... I went back to my dorm room and took it off. I haven't worn it since...
And please ask my friends, I wore that key around my neck for over five years, and one night I took it off because the Holy Spirit made me realize that in the beginning I wore the key as a reminder, but it quickly became something I needed, and that's not healthy. This physical object was holding me back from giving EVERYTHING to Jesus and letting Him fight the battles of anxiety, fear, and depression that I was losing because I am not God. He was right there the whole time watching me drown and suffer when all I had to do was reach for His hand.
So that night, I dropped the key and I clutched to Jesus.
The purpose of a Giving Key is this:
you choose a word you feel like you need in that moment, and then when you don't need it anymore you give it to someone who does.
They were several times over the years I thought, "I can give it to this person" or this person or this person, but I wasn't ready.
So, about three weeks before the conference I heard the Holy Spirit say, "Give your key to Sadie."
I'm going to be honest... I didn't want to.
me: "um, that's my key."
God:
You're not even wearing it
You don't need it
It's an earthly possession, so you can't take it home with you anyway
me: "dang, He's right."
So then.. the devil goes, "now you have to find it."
After a few days... I found it. (But yeah, I was panicking when I realized I didn't know where it was.)
So, I'm going to keep Sadie and I'd conversation private, but I did give it to her, and she was obviously very excited about it.
Then... the actual conference started
The theme of the conference was "Steady Light"
The first speaker's name was DawnChere Wilkerson, and when I say she started out this conference with a bang.... sis did not come to play.
She started to talk about foundation and how foundations are established between the ages of 18 and 19. She talked about how the devil is very active during our foundation season because
"if the devil can get a flaw into our foundation now--the flaw becomes our feature."
We are supposed to be leaning on Jesus in our lives and the world has such an influence on how we see our lives. (paraphrasing)
"We have to get our feelings out of the way and start building on who He is because the enemy is trying to put a flaw in our thinking."
My favorite part of her talk was when she used the phrase, "Don't go home to your village." In other words, don't go back to the people are things that are causing you to stumble. Don't go back to your comfort because God doesn't call us to be comfortable.
"He can set you free, but you can't walk right back into the prison you were in."
we have to surrender.
whether it's the people we are surrounding ourselves with, the sin we are entangled in, in order to have a firm foundation we cannot go back to those people/things.
Don't go back to the village ya'll
Day #2
First of all, worship was lead by Taya, and she was incredible!
God--The Holy Spirit was just moving straight through her, and it was an experience you have to feel for yourself to understand.
The second speaker's name was Charlotte Gambill
First, I want to say she has the most amazing. ACCENT EVER
The title of her message was, "A Hill To Die On"
the scripture base was Matthew 16:24-26
First, she talked about choosing our battles and how social media, the news, society, etc. will have us chasing battles that ultimately distract us from the purpose God has for us. (paraphrased)
"The only hill worth dying on is Christ" but we have to personally choose which hill to die on.
"The only place you will find rest is in the arms of your Father, and you get the rest by dying to yourself."
"It is when you die to yourself that you truly live." WOAH
Then she talked about how we like to carry our own burdens, but we will NEVER be able to carry the burdens of the seasons to come within our own strength--we need to rely on God and His strength and His abilities to carry us through.
"The Holy Spirit is the one who strengthens you."
Sadie closed out the night with a message about light vs. darkness
She said the storyline in our reality IS light vs. darkness.
She talked about Noah and the ark and how Noah found favor with the Lord.
Genesis 9:12-16
She talked about God's faithfulness to us no matter what we've done.
"Every day the sun comes out is a new chance for you." HOW POWERFUL IS THAT???
"God paints the sun and the stars for you to know how much He loves you." He created the earth and all of its beauty for US.
She also talks about how it seems so clear what is light and dark or wrong and right in the Bible, yet the world makes it so hard to decipher.
"Not everything evil looks dark."
Ya'll, Satan is described in the Bible as BEAUTIFUL, yet he is called the father of lies.
"A lot of us want to be our own God, and we can't stand that we don't get all the glory or control."
If ya'll know me, ya'll know I'm a control freak, so this hit me deep. Control is not and will not ever be mine; it won't be yours either, so we might as well surrender now.
"We are not meant to get the glory. We are meant to give the glory."
I think that is so hard in today's society because we want the praise. We want the likes, we want the comments, but those things are not going to fill us long term friends.
It was never about us and it never will be,
The title of this blog is "Holding Back Nothing." and it's taken from a song called "Open" from Sadie's worship band's new EP. This song was pretty much the theme for this years conference, and I feel like it's such a testimony to where I am right now in my life.
Giving Sadie my key was really a surrendering moment for me because even though I hadn't worn it since September truly giving it away was me saying, "You are in control."
I'm holding back nothing from God and I hope this blog post inspires you to do the same.
Your friend,
Lauren
LO Worship's new EP: https://lnk.to/LOWorship
Tickets to LO Sister Conference 2023: https://www.losisterconference.com
Join LO Sister for free today: https://www.losister.com/share/HA70TXPrh3D8NEx8?utm_source=manual
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